Three strangers at the Great Falls airport are awaiting their flights.
One is a Native American on his way to Helena for a statewide Indian Pow-Wow.
Another is a ranch hand on his way to Billings Montana for a stock show.
The third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived and on his way to study engineering at Montana Tech.
To pass the time they strike up a conversation on recent events, and the discussion drifts to their diverse cultures.
Soon the westerners learn that the Arab is a devout radical Muslim, and believes his people are justified in their 'holy' war.
The conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his hat forward over his face.
The wind outside blows and the old windsock flaps, but no plane comes.
Finally, the Native American clears his throat and softly speaks: "Once, my people were many, but now we are few".
The radical Muslim raises an eyebrow and leans forward: "Once, my people were few" - he sneers "but now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"
The Cowboy shifts the toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson Cowboy Hat says, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet boy"

LOL

LOL

OMG ROFL

hahaha
nice one kargool
thought this was funny too

A joke thread! 2009-05-28 kargool

Yep i thought he didnt had it in him but he surprises me everyday now :)

i liked cats joke better

hehe

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"
The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

thats a vlad joke :P

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody golf club standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"

"Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that five iron?"

"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her, hands on her face.

"How many times did you hit him?"

"I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times ... just put me down for five.

little white baby dies of cot death and goes up to heaven......gets to the pearly gates and st peter gives him a set of wings and says .... off you go your an angel.....
little black baby dies of cot death and goes up to heaven.....gets to the pearly gates and st peter gives him a set of wings and says.....off you go your a bat!

:S

hahahaha, nice1 kublai :D

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day.


Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

'Hello?'

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.
'Yes,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?'
The child whispered, ' No.'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?'
' Yes '
'May I talk with her?'
Again the small voice whispered, ' No '

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

' Yes , ' whispered the child, ' a policeman '

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

'Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman, ' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

’ A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered,
' The search team just landed a helicopter full of dogs '

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are the dogs searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

' ME . '

Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'

The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That Makes everything better and I go to work.. You try that.'



Two hours later Hung Chow calls again.





'I do what You say and I feel Great - I be at work soon......... You got Nice house!'

A guy is riding the bus when at a stop, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on. The only problem is that she is a nun. He decides to approach her anyway. "Sister, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I must have sex with you." he says. "I'm sorry but I've given my body to God" she replies and then leaves. Suddenly the bus driver turns around to the guy and says "I know a way you can get her in the sack." The bus driver tells the guy about how the nun goes to confessional everyday at 3 in the afternoon. The bus driver tells the guy his plan and the guy leaves happy knowing he's going to get some. The next day at 3 the guy is in the booth dressed as a priest. When the nun approaches in the darkness he says "Sister, God has told me I must have sex with you." She replies "Well if God has said it, we must do it. However because of my strong commitment to God I will only take it up the ass." The guy figures this isn't a problem and proceeds to have the best sex ever. After it is over he whips off his outfit and says "Surprise I'm the guy on the bus" With that the nun turns around and says "Surprise I'm the bus driver."

haha

hmm not that funny :(

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons.

Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?

In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.

Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.

When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you."

The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.

Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river.

The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right." And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.

The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in.

And there he also met the mermaid. "I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."

The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?"

The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?"

Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health." Then the young son asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"

haha, nice one auto^^

LOL
thats disgusting:P

lol

i saw the thread name and thought it was a thread in xanyon's honour.

The joke is pretty funny tho

A bit more serious post in a joke thread, this post however is no joke!

Top 10 Dating Rules for College

The following gives the top 10 dating rules for College

1. In an imaginary world a kiss would signify the end of sexual tension and the beginning of a relationship. In college, it means somebody’s horny.

2. In an imaginary world, “I really like spending time with you,” and “you’re cool,” mean I REALLY like spending time with you and you ARE cool. In college, it means “will you fuck me?”

3. In an imaginary world, holding hands is the first sign of true love, in college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.

4. In an imaginary world the guy buys dinner and a movie and kisses you goodnight at your front door. In college, there is no such thing as a dinner and a movie and at the end of a date, most guys want a hell of lot more that a kiss goodnight.

5. In an imaginary world, men aren’t afraid to admit their feelings. In college, if you ask them what they want or why they kissed you they respond, “Why do you think?” Refer to number one for definition.

6. In an imaginary world, sleepovers are sleepovers. Just that. In college it’s a fuckfest or pretty close to it.

7. In an imaginary world the guy might call you the day after. In college, you’re lucky if he acknowledges your presence when you walk by. Or if they do call back, refer to number one again, for the reason.

8. In an imaginary world even gorgeous guys are nice. In college, cute guys are asses, unattractive men are desparate, and nice guys finish last.

9. In an imaginary world, sex is sacred and special. In college, it happens every night between drunk strangers, who don’t even know each others names. IT ALWAYS SEEMS MEANINGLESS TO AT LEAST ONE OF THE PARTNERS!

10. In an imaginary world, men have only one girl, chickie, babe, woman. In college, you ARE the only one, except for, Jodi, Jean, Alisha, Sara, Laura, Liz, Christy, Carrie, Jen, Mary, Katie, Jocelyn, Lynda, Alyssa, Jessica, Cory, Rachel, Heather…

(just a marvellous post on this other game i am playing. the dude non is TLK's version of Yoshika. Utter clueless.)

KARATE!! [1]
non General**
06-27 00:10 Dose any body knows KARATE! if not, then i know the KARATE! and i am not joking.

Kiwitje General*
06-27 00:11 Karaoke?

non General**
06-27 00:11 What do you mean.

Last edited: 06-27 00:11

Shimrra_3 [WC] Baron
06-27 00:11 /facepalm

non General**
06-27 00:14 We need people who know KARATE! for self defense.

Daccord Baron
06-27 00:15 can someone plz close this topic,,,

xD

wtf why do you need karate on tlk xD

non General**
06-27 00:16 To fight with .

Kargool [WC] Count
06-27 00:16 I know how to fire a handgun.

grasulxxl Baron
06-27 00:17 need it on ASIA map...for martial artist xp growth

Kiwitje General*
06-27 00:22 Karaoke owns Karate

Cain Captain
06-27 00:33 karaoke...japanese word for tone deaf. I heart it.

Lumos Baron
06-27 00:33 the sillyness of non strikes once again

NovScorp Marshal
06-27 00:34 i know how to fart. my gas will kill ya all!!!
its silent and effective

Rags Vice Marshal
06-27 01:28 NovScorp.....can I interest you in a plate of beans before we go visit my in-laws?

NovScorp Marshal
06-27 01:32 always willing to help against 'in-laws'.
but i dont need beans for that, i already am rotten inside ;)

Last edited: 06-27 01:32

Takato [WC]General
06-27 02:37 Er..I know Tae Kwon Do, the Korean Martial Art that is quite similar to Karate

Yaremey [WC] Count
06-27 18:09 i also a member of Tae Kwon Do.... :D

non General**
06-27 19:29 I am also a member of Tae Kwon Do.

Last edited: 06-27 19:30

You were right, this thread is a joke.

So is your name Amon, damn i love dutch humor :)

oh "hahaha"

very awesomely funny.

cranky Amon, you need to get laid more often. ;)

I love you Amon.

Good Joke Cura :)

lol, you ppl need help :P